cool definitions

Father: A banker provided by nature.

:Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

:Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

:Rumour: News that travels at the speed of sound.

:Dictionary: The only place where divorce comes before marriage.

:College: A place where some pursue learning and others learn pursuing.

:Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous homelife.

:Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

:Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

:Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

:Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read.

:Marriage: It is an agreement in which a man loses his bachelors degree and woman gains her master's.

:Worry: Interest paid on trouble before it falls due.

:Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

:Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine power is defeated by feminine power.

:Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

:Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken off when dead.

:Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

:Optimist: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

:Pessimist: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, instead of the first letter in the word OPPORTUNITY

:Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

:Criminal: A guy no different from the rest of us .... except that he got caught.

:Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and shakes your confidence after.

:Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills